12 Step Catholics Sharing their Love, experience & strength

Open letter to God from a 12 Step Catholic

3am. 

Feeling God like maybe I'm going to make it. 

I know you carry the load for me. 

You've felt more pain then I could ever endure. 

I know you are carrying me as I look up and scream. Cry, and yelp out in pain. 

You whisper to me let me heal you. Trust me. I won't ever leave you. 

You are here. You have never left me. You never will. 

I'm blind, deaf, in the dark. Screaming. Asking to be saved from the waves that keep hitting me. As I gasp for air. 

You say: stop struggling. Surrender. Breathe. Inhale. Exhale. Reach out to you. 

Even if the darkness says no. 

My Addiction says give in to the darkness. It's real time. 

But my heart says No! no matter how broken. Give it to God. The end of my rope is frayed and ripping apart. 

And then I free fall. 

And that's when the healing begins. 

I ask you God can I have a remission of this pain? 

This suffering. I have not the strength you have. 

But God waits patiently. 

I'm not Alone. 

Oh My Addiction screams it in my ears, in my head. You're Alone and will never be free.....

But truly.....

God stands in between my disease and me. Always. 

Thank you God. For your remembrance of me. That you never leave me behind.

Alone. Empty. Defeated. You lift me higher then any cliff. Then any cloud. Higher then any star. 

You free me.

Thank you for giving me your Son (only Son) Jesus.

 Thank You for giving me the gift of Eternal Life.

Thank you for loving a sinner, an Addict a broken person like me, when my Addiction tells me to hate myself.

Thank you is a meager, little word for all you do and have done for me. 

I Love you Adonai, Jesus Christ and Sante Spiritus

Forever yours 

A Truly Grateful 12 Step Catholic